Hello.

My parents loved their gifts, in a "my parents" sort of way. Christmas Eve and Christmas was an affair to remember... my cousin brought over his new girlfriend, that no one has met, who happens to be his new wife-to-be as well. Very interesting to say the least. On the relationship line, my uncle is going through a divorce and is currently dating a woman older than him... he hasn't brought anyone along to family events in over a year, and it's strange seeing him with someone else. Makes all of us miss our Aunt Jo... and it creates feelings that are new. No one really understood why she left him, and "the kids" don't understand why she broke off all ties. We miss her. A Christmas card would have been nice.

We had both holiday parties over here, since Kel can't leave. Usually, my mother's side of the family celebrates Christmas Eve at Grandma's... it's a big ordeal. When we were young we (all the cousins and Aunts and Uncles,) would go to mass together at the church my grandmother still attends, and before we returned someone would have piled all the Christmas gifts under the tree as a surprise. My grandfather would put on his Santa hat (it was decorated with gold glitter that spelled Papa on the brim,) and pass out presents to the children. After our gifts were opened we were sushed out of the room and the adults would do their Gag gifts. True, hilarious, not-for-children Gag gifts.

This year, my grandmother took five hours to pass out the children's gifts and Gag gifts consisted of "Build Your Own Teddy" bear's and "God Bless My Home" plaques. Even the re-gift, an African American angel that has been part of Gag gifts since I was little, and just resurfaced, wasn't greeted with much laughter. Not even the pooping reindeer and rap Christmas music was that funny.

I just don't know what happened. Did we all grow up and misplace our sense of humor? Leave it behind? When was Christmas ever this boring? It was different this year. Sad, subdued, calm. Not complete.

The gifts were still there. (I was going to say "present." Ha!) I enjoyed when my second cousin Andrew screamed "YES!" after opening his XU flag and tee-shirt. (He was soo excited. They used to live in Cincy and he just loves Xavier.) I screamed myself... the digital camera that was "too expensive" showed up under the Christmas tree... I can't wait to start taking pictures. There already is one of my cousin Kristen and I drinking beer with our dinner today. (Giving my father chest pains was a fun gift.)

I don't know though, it still just wasn't the same.

My digital camera surprise reminded me of another "too expensive" gift that I still look for under the Christmas tree. Ever since I was... well in fifth grade it began... so around there I fell in love with the piano. Wanted one more than anything in the world. (You know how fifth graders are.) Every year I would walk down the steps in the morning of Christmas and peek around the corner of our living room, to see if perhaps it was sitting waiting. It never was, and I still look. Someone must remember that I wanted that for Christmas years ago. One day.

Dinner is waiting. The catering company made our dinner this year, for Mom since she did so much with Kelly, to give her a break. It's just the five of us tonight, a quiet Christmas.

Simple. Peaceful.

(Wait, this is us.)

Have a merry one, wherever you are, and no matter how peaceful it isn't.