Before I even begin my Anatomy story, I don't recommend Mystic Tanning.

Secondly, Big Kids Only for this blog. If you still play the Penis Game in crowded rooms or on the bus, don't read this. (If you've never heard me say penis before, you may not want to read this either.)

In Anatomy today we learned about the Reproductive System. Actually, the Lab was entitled "The Big Night." Now I already told everyone about the problems I had while out with my co-workers, thinking about my nephrons processing my alcohol... and how I would have to soon pee in the dirty bathroom? Now, next time I go out, or (for those of you who prefer to think about it this way,) when I'm with my husband drinking, not only am I going to be thinking about how my nephrons are processing my alcohol, I get to think about how my guy's bulbourethral gland is secreting solution ("pre" cursor,) that will travel ahead of his sperm to neutralize and remove the urine and ... well whatever else... from his urethra ... and that mixture of stuff that is probably dirtier than the Gaslight Bar's bathrooms could be in contact with... well me.

Now that is gross. And that is the reason Anatomy has just made me become a nun. Not that I have a sex life, (I Don't) but that made whatever sex drive I do have completely obsolete. Not only do I find it strange and weird to know such facts, but how much of a turn-OFF will it be to all of a sudden have these strange and weird facts popping into your head during "The Big Night?" (Or whatever night it happens to be for that matter.) We all know I'm a dork. If while hugging people I think about how their semi-lunar and atrioventricular valves are opening and closing as I hear their heart beat, and if while drinking I think about how my nephrons and Loop of Henle are processing my alcohol, who says I'm not going to be thinking about the cremaster muscle that contracts to pull up the testes when the guy's doctor has him turn his head and cough... while I'm... ? Umm, yeah.

So, if you are planning on hugging me, getting me drunk, and (cough, marrying me,) getting me into bed, I don't suggest it anytime soon. Oh, and to make things worse? After Easter we see the reproductive systems on the cadavers. (Fun! A 92 year old penis.)

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To lighten things up, (since I'm sure all of you read on, even though none of you have heard me say penis before,) I recieved my Third Federal job for this summer again. With, I might add, a raise and starting bonus of almost a full week's pay. Yay! Also, keep your fingers crossed, I hear about my internship for the next school year within about two weeks. I'm hoping that one pulls through, it's good pay, a good cause (with the Catholic Social Action Office promoting poverty awareness and raising funds,) and good hours, (only during the semester, fifteen hours a week.) Now if I could just raise my Anatomy grades to A's, get a boyfriend who doesn't mind me thinking about his cremaster muscles and prostate gland, and get rid of my orange hands and ankles, life would be divine. =)