The Difference between Skipper and her Big Sister Barbie

From Straight Up and Dirty by Stephanie Klein. (I found this hilarous.)

The Difference between Skipper and Barbie

Barbie had fragrant sweet-smelling plastic hair, shiny, flowing like a river, while Skipper, her kid sis, was unscented and forced to wear overalls and bangs. Barbie got insane proportions, a 1950s waist and slim, sculpted calves leading to her always-pointed toes. Always. Clearly Barbie was always midorgasm, her ass cheeks clenched in pleasure, her arms slightly hovering as if she were unsure where they belonged, and there, hiding beneath her petticoat, a square, wide vagina. Ken was behind the orgasms. Skipper stayed home and masturbated.

Skipper, in contrast to the orgasmic Barbie, was more board than babe. Flat, uniform, solid, like a square digital clock. You couldn't find an hourglass anywhere near her. She counted the minutes until she'd see Ken again, scheming away during those long pent-up nights while Ken and Barbie relaxed in Malibu tossing a beach ball. How wretched. Ken would never see Skipper as a Barbie. She'd always be that pal, the one who got relegated to teh backseat of the Barbie Jeep. And when he dropped her off at home, he shouted, "Peace out," rather than planning their next encounter.

I am not a Skipper. I'm not a buddy or a pal. I don't want pats on the head or to be called DUDE by men. I do not have a penis. I have a vagina that works, that's anatomically correct, and I'd like to be treated as such. And that's how Skipper felt, but Skipper didn't have a book with chapters about oral sex.